You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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