I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
