you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
