The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
