just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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