I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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