If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
