They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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