the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
