dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
