Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
