Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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