They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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