but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
