i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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