I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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