get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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