It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
