Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
