The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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