Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
