I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
