i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
