at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
