Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
