my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
