who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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