u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My pussy is not your playground.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
