This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
