belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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