Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
