no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
