The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
