I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize