If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
