TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
