im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
