Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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