You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
