last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this will be a night to untag.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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