my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
