we have pet lesbian snakes
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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