I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
