real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
