I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
