the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
