White coat. Heels.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
