the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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