I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
