Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
